Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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