He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
