I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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