when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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