i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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