Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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