wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize