You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
