Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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