yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
