We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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