Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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