i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
