How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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