it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Randomize
