What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
