Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
