just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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