if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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