My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
