She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
