Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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