she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
This is the high leading the old right now
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
