Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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