I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize