idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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