forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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