I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
