Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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