it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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