let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
