I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
