Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
