Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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