Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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