is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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