Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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