i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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