Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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