She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
im six kinds of drunk right now
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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