Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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