We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
