Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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