you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
