I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
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The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
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Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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