masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Panties = found
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