May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
