I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
