do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I need help removing her.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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