Ambien. No doubt about it.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
