have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
