Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize