the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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