found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
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