im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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