We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
