Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You're completely useless in the revolution.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
