The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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